Whenever I buy someone a gift I never ask them what they want. I think if you’re giving a gift, you generally know the person pretty well and should have an idea of what they will like. The gift shouldn’t be something you’d enjoy, rather it should be a gift that speaks to your relationship with that person or their passions and interests.
So I never really considered asking my girlfriend what type of ring she wanted. I’ve picked up some general ideas when she makes comments about other people’s rings or something she sees in a magazine, but the idea of walking through a jewelry store with her never crossed my mind.
Until she brought it up. With an off-handed comment she offered to go with me to point out ones she liked. It certainly would be invaluable advice but should I cash in on this opportunity?
If I do go with her, it plays my hand. In her eyes the time frame is suddenly shortened from “eventually” to “sooner than later.” It also gets her into a jewelry store with price tags and since she thinks an engagement ring is close to $2,000 I don’t want her stressing over the amount of money I’m spending.
Maybe this is stupid, but I think the cons outweigh the potential wealth of information. Or, maybe that’s just my excuse to reassure myself that I know her well enough to make this decision on my own. Only one thing is for sure: I’m over-thinking the whole thing.
There is a middle ground: ask her best friend. Most of us have had the “if my boyfriend ever asks, tell him I want…” conversation with at least one friend (the one we think he’d go to). If you want a second opinion but don’t want to kill the surprise, that could be the way to go. Assuming, of course, that she can keep a secret…
Thanks for the advice! It’s appreciated. I am very, very afraid of someone spoiling the secret. Boys get to plan how/when to pop the questions, girls cover the “I’m pregnant” reveal and theoretically they can do that multiple times. This is my one shot, so I guess I’m a little over-cautious.